Joe Novak In Trouble
by Juri Nummelin

"Your name?," the cop asked.

"Joe Novak."

"What is your business here?"

"Once upon a time..."

"Answer it, or I'll arrest you."

"That corpse is Jesus Christ and he tried to come back to redeem people. The Mob got scared so they redeemed him instead. Now we are just waiting for the guy to rise to the heavens," I told, and the cop believed.

Suddenly from behind the sofa, where the corpse of Jesus -- crucified once again -- was laying, rose a cloud of dust, and after it had vanished, God, with Holy Ghost alongside him, entered the room.

"Coming from a costume party?," I asked.

God grinned, and roared: "La Cosa Nostra didn't do nothing to my son. I got my son murdered. He was going to get people to revolt against me. That way even Satan would have died and I would have lost my chess buddy. So I gave my cohorts an order to crucify him. And he won't resurrect again, I sure will take care of that."

The cop and I were staring at God whose beard was trembling as he spoke.

Holy Ghost crossed his hands and said in a drowsy voice: "In the name of Father, Son and Holy Ghost..."

"Fuck that 'son' there!," God was rumbling. "Go screw some other whore, so we'll get a proper son finally! And just watch your ass if it's going to be a gal!"

Resigned, Holy Ghost murmured something, and God dragged him along from the hotel room.

Only Jesus, the cop and I stayed.

There was God, after all.

Original: Joe Novak pinteessä,
Published in the collection Joe Novak pinteessä ja muita novelleja. Abraxas: Turku/Vaasa 1997.
Translation by ER with the author's permission


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